Rules for Rookies (Rookie Fans, That Is)
Our group has grown to 24 this year (three RV's and a Van taking up 8 camping spots) including 8 rookies. We are really looking forward to showing them around and of course seeing the looks on their faces when they see (fill in the blank here).
We even went so far as to develop a set of rules that all rookies must agree to before they are allowed to ride with us (and of course every rule is the direct result of a previous experience)..
Anything we forgot?
This is the Indy 500. This is NOT NASCAR. This is NOT related to NASCAR in any way, shape, or form. You are not to wear any article of clothing that refers to NASCAR, Dale Earnhardt, Little E, Rainbow Warrior, or any other stupid nickname.
This is ONE race. The Indy 500. This is NOT a series of races similar to a horse or dog track. Please refer to the race as “THE RACE”, not “The RACES”. If your friends tell you to have a nice time at “The Races” please remind them that you are not going to a horse track, you are going to the Indy 500 RACE. Singular.
If you choose to congratulate Troy on his Kentucky Wildcats victory over our Kansas Jayhawks in the NCAA National Championship, please do so only once. No sense in making a big deal out of it.
Picnic tables are for sitting on and sleeping on. They are not firewood. Wooden picnic tables contain Chromated Copper Arsenate (CCA) which when burned can cause nausea. Don’t burn picnic tables and get nauseous.
If you must cut off part of a tree to position your RV in a more desirable position, please leave at least one half of the tree intact. You will not be accused of cutting “down” a tree, if at least half of the tree remains. Leaving half of the tree is called “trimming”.
Chocolate Chip cookies may not be traded for beer before 9am except in the case of emergencies. An emergency exists any time you are out of beer before 9am.
If you are bunkered down in a tunnel due to tornados, and wish to send someone back to the camper for beer. The “runner” must return with enough beer for everyone in your party. It is strongly recommended that he actually return with a cooler instead of a few beers wrapped up in his tee-shirt. This will prevent him from having to make additional trips during a tornado.
Feel free to ask any driver, owner, sponsor, celebrity, etc . for an article of clothing such as a hat. But please refrain from making up stories about crippled kids to give you an unfair advantage in getting the hat or other item from a particular celebrity. This is considered an unfair tactic and should not be used except in very rare circumstances, such as wanting a particular hat that Roger Penske happens to be wearing. If you do get a hat in this manner it is strongly recommended that you don't wear the hat around that particular celebrity.
Don’t mess with the Holy Rollers. Bad Karma, enough said.
Please donate to the “raceday pot” but do not win the pot. Leave that to someone with more knowledge and experience, you are a newby remember? Don’t act like you know it all by picking the winning driver.