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Thread: Official "I Can't Believe That Was Newsworthy" Thread

  1. #1
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    Official "I Can't Believe That Was Newsworthy" Thread

    Do you ever open a paper or turn on the news only to see a story so mundane or pointless that you can't believe it was published?

    I'm not talking about "everything on MSNBC/Fox News/Limbaugh/Maddow." I'm talking about supposed hard news stories on supposedly mainstream news outlets.

    Well, I do this often, and following was the latest piece of "news" that inspired the thread.

    5 years later, Casey Anthony 'bored' with life
    If you agree with ISIS and really think God/Nature sends hurricanes as punishment, please explain why he is so angry at Barbuda...

  2. #2
    A friend of Hal. midtown's Avatar
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    I can't believe it's not butter.
    It's a Hoosier thing, you wouldn't understand...

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    Cat Lady of Doom Antoneli's Avatar
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    I was watching the news at my mom's the other day and they reported that Apple had released a new set of emojis.
    RIP Dan Wheldon - never forgotten!


    http://www.twitter.com/Bethitis

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    ...and proud of it. comfortably numb's Avatar
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    Tiger Woods is not playing in The Open next week.
    “Twitter is the spit on the sidewalk of life.” ~~numb
    "Passive aggressive BS. You aren't interested in learning anything from what I have to say. "

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    Anything on Good Morning America now. My wife and I get in fights because of that idiot show.
    kwetcherbetchen

  6. #6
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    Local news stations are a gold mine of non-newsworthiness:

    Pet owner finds unique way to soothe dog's fireworks anxiety

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    ...and proud of it. comfortably numb's Avatar
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  8. #8
    Insider
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    Newsflash! I did not click on a single link in this thread.

  9. #9
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    Here's another "headline" I saw recently:

    Spice Girls reunion 'not happening'

    Thanks for letting me know!

  10. #10
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    More:

    WOMAN PLEADS GUILTY IN LOUD SEX CASE

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Butler View Post
    Here's another "headline" I saw recently:

    Spice Girls reunion 'not happening'

    Thanks for letting me know!

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by midtown View Post
    I can't believe it's not butter.
    I was stunned when Fabio was assaulted by that bird.

  13. #13
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    An actual headline (not an ad, not a joke) currently on Real Clear Science:

    Constipated? Don't Put a Fork in Your Butt

  14. #14
    Cat Lady of Doom Antoneli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Butler View Post
    Here's another "headline" I saw recently:

    Spice Girls reunion 'not happening'

    Thanks for letting me know!
    Man, but I would go see them if it was. 10-year-old Antoneli (in 1995) dyed her hair red with kool-aid to be like Ginger Spice. I was obsessed.

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    "Headless body found in topless bar"
    ...---...

  16. #16
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeseczar View Post
    "Headless body found in topless bar"
    Sounds like a humorous headline for an actual newsworthy event (assuming it's true and not a joke).

  17. #17
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    WTHR.com:

    New Colorado restaurant aims to pair pot with the perfect food, wine

  18. #18
    Insider
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    It was a true headline from years ago:

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slate...less_body.html

  19. #19
    ...and proud of it. comfortably numb's Avatar
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    FONTANA: Chihuahua named Jack Sparrow overdoses on meth; owner arrested

  20. #20
    I am astounded at the utter stupidity of most on the scene reporting. If you really listen to what they say, they say nothing.

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    Not news orientated, but how desperate ESPN can be to continually provide content in the Offseason...

    This week, a little comedy. Which players on college football's top 25 teams could moonlight as stand-up comedians?
    Link

  22. #22
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    Yeah, I try to give a little more leeway for items clearly classified as entertainment or sports, as they are, by nature, trivial compared to hard news.

    But within those realms, I would say that example qualifies as non-worthy sports "news."

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by comfortably numb View Post
    FONTANA: Chihuahua named Jack Sparrow overdoses on meth...
    No Indycar race at Auto Club Speedway drives some fans to drown their sorrows in drugs.

  24. #24
    iLl-enfORmed yOKel Ren Butler's Avatar
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    Actual headline I just came across:

    Puerto Rico women clad in purple march at dawn

    At least it's poetic. But it almost sounds like a Mad Lib, or a sentence you would use to gain access to a secret club.

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    ...and proud of it. comfortably numb's Avatar
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    Murrieta man with 10 warrants snoozes, loses

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Anderson View Post
    No Indycar race at Auto Club Speedway drives some fans to drown their sorrows in drugs.
    the epidemic shouldn't be wide spread

  27. #27
    Insider Jim Wilke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ren Butler View Post
    More:

    WOMAN PLEADS GUILTY IN LOUD SEX CASE
    Sorry, I'll try to get her to do better.

  28. #28
    Bingo Award Winner! Media Boy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeseczar View Post
    "Headless body found in topless bar"
    It it were five words it could have been used in the Crazy Story thread.
    BRAWNDO - THE THIRST MUTILATOR...IT'S GOT WHAT PLANTS CRAVE!

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  30. #30
    Bingo Award Winner! Media Boy's Avatar
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    Sometimes they are just so fake sounding because...they are fake

    "Woman From Detroit Has 14 Kids From 14 Different Fathers:

    http://www.dailydetroit.com/2017/03/...erent-fathers/

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