A couple of years ago I saw a man at the race wearing a T-shirt that read "BEER FOR BOOBS".
I laughed at how this guy just didn't get the diference in how men and women think. He would have been much more successful if his shirt said "Diamonds for Boobs".
All roads lead to Indy except for State Road 39 which goes to Martinsville.
According to the movie Back To The Future, weren't we supposed to be able to control the weather by now?
If he had the diamonds he wouldn't have to advertise on a t-shirt, beer was the best he could bargain with.
Katharine's Legge is in the gravel!--Jenks
__________________________________________________ ____________________
12-7-1941 Never, Never Forget 9-11-2001
I always thought it was summed up nicely in this oldie but goodie:
Dear Walter,
I hope you can help me here.
The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV a s usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked-out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's
help.
When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter. I am 41, my husband is 44, and the neighbour's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.
When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.
He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.
He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him any more.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Doris.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Doris:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.
If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
Walter
so did you ask him for a beer?
I love the sport more than I hate the past,
That "shirt" is called MARRIAGE. Ba, ha ha.Originally Posted by buzz
This thread is worthless without pics!
The reality is the numbers are dropping yet you call the deal 'ahead of its time'. The only end result that can be drerived from that is the series will be broke 'ahead of its time'.
Or this one:
Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls".
It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?
Signed,
Perplexed
Depends on what type of woman you're trying to attract.
Just one more and I promise, I'm done:
Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's Diary:
A five putt; who the hell five putts?
I'm glad these are all jokes and that none of you actually think this is how women think!
Glenn--best one of the bunch.
Antoneli--they're not so much jokes about how women think as jokes about how men think. Or don't.
That last one by Glenn is definitely my boyfriend to a tee. Thankfully mine usually just reads, "Where's the beer?"Glenn--best one of the bunch.
Antoneli--they're not so much jokes about how women think as jokes about how men think. Or don't.
This is my story, if my team loses a game. My wife writes off the next 24 hours.
hahaha! i have that same joke in my email and was literally about to post it. glad i read through the thread first
And why my wife encourages I watch racing instead of stick/ball sports. I don't care who wins the race, as long as it is compelling, competitive, exciting - and safe. There just isn't that emotional attachment like with the "home team." I watch the sport for the sport's sake.
Fortunately (for both of us) as I get older and free time becomes more limited, I don't let the ball sports bother me like they once did.
Great joke Glenn! LMAO
Not totally racing related....well, not....no.....you'll see
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
And that is exactly what he'll get if he drinks enough Beer. Why would he want to advertise that?
Sifaka
FYI ladies. When you ask us what we're thinking and we reply ... nothing. Chances are we're really not thinking of anything at all!
porscheman
@porscheman121 on Twitter #+200HP!
237.498/241.428/242.333 Speeds from the olden days!
Sigh. Nobody has figured this out yet. It's obvious to me that the shirt is defective and some of the letters have either fallen off or faded away.
It's supposed to say:
"Beer is for Boobs."
I'm from a place called the internet. Nothing disturbs me.
Who you calling a boob?
Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, “Nothing”. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour I don't know why he didn't say, “I love you too”. When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
His Diary:
The Jag wouldn't start, can't figure out why, got laid though.
Ladies and gentlemen, with the theme song to this thread, Mr. David Gilmour...
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks